he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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