He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
