I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
