Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
