People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
