I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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