i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
