i barfeds in our rink
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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