Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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