white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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