Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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