you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
