i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
