OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
