i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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