Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I will pee on everything he values.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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