My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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