keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
