He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
