I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
