i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
