She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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