just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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