Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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