I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
