2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
