the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
