a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
