she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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