A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
