Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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