I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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