I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
