Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
