The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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