You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
