Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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