he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
