You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
