I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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