If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
