Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You've changed since you got that strap on
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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