even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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