It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
