My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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