Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
