Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
