I think my fart just growled at me.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
