Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
