Kareoke will never be a sober sport
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
