You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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