yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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